Alright, I've decided to post a CR&A story. This is a short one, but it's one I've wanted to type up for some time, and now that I have, I'd like to let others read it. It's in my script format, and everything in it belongs to me! (Sorry, but I feel I need to say that.) Anyways -
P. Aloysius Regnad Presents:
A (rather important) CR&A Gaiden
"Regnad and the Gunfighters"
P. Aloysius Regnad
[Note: This story takes place in the latter part of 1906, just after CR&A deal with the "Giant Chupacabras"]
Regnad has stayed behind the rest of CR&A to discuss the giant chupacabras with a government investigatory team. After this, he is returning to Adele's parents' home by himself, to experience something of the "old time" sensations of traveling alone, by horse, from west to east Texas. He's found his way to a fairly small town, and is amusing himself in a saloon by having a few drinks, and playing poker. [He's actually quite good at the game, but generally leaves playing it against whomever to his wife, Adele, since she enjoys it more. (And is almost unbeatable at it.)]
R. [Sitting at poker table with three other men] It's getting a bit thin for a good game, but I wouldn't want to be accused of running away with my winnings. So here's my ante. Go ahead and deal, Mr. Cleary.
Cleary. [Sarcastically, while dealing a hand of five card draw] Well that's plumb nice-a you, Mister. You're either lucky as hell, or the best card player I ever seen... Or the best cheat.
R. Oh please! I told you from the start that I play an honest game, or I don't play at all!
Ainsley. Yeah, I believe it. Or else you got a way-a cheatin' none-a us has ever seen!
Robard. He ain't cheatin'! I'd bet my life on it! But his luck can't hold out forever!
M. C. And that's five. Bets, gentlemen!
R. OK, I'll start with $20.
M. A. And $20 more.
M. R. Plus another $50.
M. C. I'll call all that.
R. Sure, I'm in.
M. A. Me, too.
M. C. Cards?
R. I'll take one.
M. A. Two.
M. R. These are fine.
M. C. And one for the dealer. The bet's to you, Mr. Regnad.
R. One hundred.
M. A. Too much for me, and I'm done for the night!
M. R. Your hundred, and two more!
M. C. Pretty steep, but I'll call.
R. Alright, your two, plus five hundred more. [He slaps the bills down on the table.]
M. R Three on top o' that! [He slaps the bills down, as well.] That cleans me out, but I ain't gonna lose!
M. C. Nope. I've had it.
R. Then I'll call. [Puts in the $300.]
M. R. [Spreads out his cards] Four Kings! Straight off the deal! [Reaches for pot.]
R. Now hold on! That's a mighty strong hand, but I've got a straight. [No one seems to care, but he continues] Seven high, and it's all diamonds! [He shows his cards.]
M. R. No! No! I don't believe it! A straight-flush?!? Aw shit! I ain't never seen one but once before, ever!! God Damn It! How could I lose with four kings, for Chrisakes? Aw, HELL! Just take the damn money! And I hope you never come back to this town again!!
R. [Nonchalantly rakes in the cash] That's a distinct possibility. Sorry to have ruined your evening.
M. R. Ah, shuddup!
The three men get up from their chairs, and exit the saloon, with much grumbling. Several other men have been looking on with various amounts of interest. Two most particularly. One is quite young, maybe 20 years old at the most. The other appears to be in his mid 30s.
Regnad finishes his drink, gets up, and walks out of the saloon. He gets halfway across the street when the young man also exits the saloon, and calls out!
???. HEY YOU!
Regnad ignores him, and takes another step.
???. I'M TALKING TO YOU, DAMMIT! Unless I'm sorely mistaken, you're calling yourself Mister P. Aloysius Regnad! Ain't that right?
R. [Sighs, and turns around.] Yes, that's my name. It's late, and I'd like to get some sleep. What do you want?
The young man steps out into the street.
???. I hear you're a real smart fella! Handy with your fancy gun, too! Well, I'm The Wichita Kid, and I say I can out shoot you, old man!
R. Oh no. You must be confusing me with my wife. I'm no fast gun shootist!
The older man has now exited the saloon also, and is watching intently from the sidewalk.
W. K. Scared, huh? You must be to hide behind the reputation of a woman!
R. [Sighs again] No, really. I don't know what you've heard, but I'm no one a gunfighter could gain any status from defeating. I mean it!
W. K. [Draws revolver, and levels it at Regnad!] Coward! I'll shoot you down like a dog!
R. [Raises his hands] There's no point to this!
The older man speaks up suddenly.
???. I wouldn't do that if I were you, Kid.
W. K. Back off, Butch Durlin! I'll deal with you later!
B. D. [Drawls unconcernedly] Oh, I know. I'm just tryin' to give you the chance.
W. K. What?!
B. D. I'm just sayin' that if you push this fella too hard, you might get a nasty shock, and end up dead.
W. K. Like hell!
The Wichita Kid is still pointing his gun at Regnad, but is giving most of his attention to Butch Durlin. Regnad takes this opportunity to reach into his shoulder holster (which his raised hand is very close to), and withdraw his brand new Regnad-Sprague Model 1906 fully automatic schnellfeuer, which he levels at his opponent! The Kid returns his attention to Regnad, and they both fire! The Kid's shot knocks off Regnad's hat, but the burst of four shots from Regnad's weapon hits The Kid three times! One in the right leg, one in the chest, and one in the left shoulder! The last round goes astray.
The Kid has a look of total astonisment on his face, and he drops dead in the street.
B. D. Well, I can't say I'm surprised. But I didn't expect a fusilade of bullets like that! Is that something new of yours, or of your friend, Miss Sprague?
R. [Looking closely at Butch] Ah, well, I can see by your Mauser that you appreciate an automatic pistol. Yes, this is a new weapon. It's Miss Sprague's improvement on the model 1905 that we call the Regnad-Sprague Model 1906 Fully Automatic Schnellfeuer. Mine also has the capability to fire a four shot burst, as you've just seen.
B. D. Huh. I still prefer something with a metallic cartridge, though that rapid auto fire is pretty impressive. Oh, my name is Butch Durlin, and I used to be something of a gunfighter myself. Right now I guess you could call me a competitor, since I'm trying to get into the outlaw apprehension business. Some of the rewards have become too big for me to pass up. And you can put your gun away. I have no intention of acting like that dead idiot.
R. [Slowly holsters his 1906] Oookay. But CR&A aren't exclusively in the outlaw apprension business these days. In fact, we just finished exterminating an infestation of oversized chupacabras. Well, one of them got away, but I doubt it can reproduce on its own, unless it's female, and is capable of parthenogenesis.
B. D. Is that so? That Kid was right about one thing, you're a real smart fella. I don't understand what that parthenon word means. I bet Miss Sprague does. She's supposed to be even smarter than you, and beautiful, too.
R. Ahhh... Yeah.
B. D. Ah, I'm just fantasizin' a little. She's way too smart for a yabo like me. Too bad, really. Ah well, you take care now!
Butch Durlin turns, and goes back into the saloon, making his way past the group that has gathered to observe the happenings. Regnad also turns around, retrives his hat, which now has a hole in it, and makes his way to the hotel for some much deserved sleep. Yet he can't help but wonder why Butch gave him such a helpful distraction.
END OF GAIDEN