23rd Psalm - Marry not an Engineer, From an Engineer's Sweety (first variation published in MIT The Tech, Vol. LIV April 10, 1934)
Verily, I say unto you, marry not ani engineer.
For an engineer is a strange being, and is possessed of many evils.
Yea, he speaketh eternally in parables which he calleth formulae,
And he wieldeth a big stick which he calleth a slide rule.
And he hath only one bible, a handbook.
He thinketh only of stresses and strains, and without end of thermodynamics.
He showeth always a serious aspect and seemeth not to know how to smile,
and he picketh his seat in a car by the springs therein and not by the damsels.
Neither does he know a waterfall except by its horsepower,
nor a sunset except that he must turn on the lights, nor a damsel, except by her live weight.
Always he carrieth his books with him, and he entetaineth his sweetheart with steam tables.
Verily, though his damsel expecteth chocolates when he calleth, She openeth the package to disclose samples of iron ore.
Yea, he holdeth her hand but to measure the friction thereof.
And he kisseth her only to test the viscosity of her lips.
For in his eyes there shineth a faraway look that is neither Love nor longing-rather a vain attempt to recall a formula.
There is but one key to his heart and that is Cum Laulde,
and When his damsel writeth of love and signeth with crosses, he Taketh these symbols, not for kisses, but rather For unknown quantities.
Even as a boy he pulleth a girl's hair but to test its elasticity.
But as a man he discovereth different devices: for he counteth the vibrations of her heartstrings; and
He seeketh ever to pursue his scientific investigations.
Even his own heart flutterings he counteth as a vision of beauty, and enscribeth his passion as a formula.
And his marriage is as a simultaneous equation involving two unknowns and yielding diverse results.